"We Are Not Amused." the long shadow of VOGUE.

I think there's an ECPLIPSE of the sun, moon and planet Venal......
My astrologer told me there would be a planetary alignment to out align anything seen since this time last century...................
TRANSLATION: NOT SINCE LAST YEARS CFDA AWARDS!!!!!!! A convergence; a TOTAL eclipse of COMMON SENSE, of GOOD TASTE, of FAIR PLAY,a TOTAL ECLIPSE of the HEART.

What the hell am I getting at, you Ask?

I'm talking about all the other GIFTED and PRESS obsessed designers who were NOT nominated for those RANDOM, COVETTED awards.

I like lists, so I'll list 'em and we'll put our heads together and try to figure out what might have gone WRONG...or RIGHT. depending on your particular VIEW.

MARCHESSA? Maybe the Duchess doesn't like Harvey, Duke of Weinstein and Malibu.

At HALSTON, she was seen across the CATWALK audibly and noticibly wincing at his louder than whispered remarks on the outcome of the SUPER BOWL. So he's rich, powerful in many more arenas than HRH. Maybe being the chubby hubby of one of Marchessas' designers... maybe because those girls dressed more RED CARPET babes than any other house this year.Possibly because by MARRIAGE they are the proud owners of the NEW Halston. Could be because HALSTON doesn't give a cat's claw about what any rag thinks of it's collection.....

Maybe that's why no nomination was granted. What do you ALL think? I have to say, theirs' were some of the loveliest gowns floating down that RAGGED RUG. OK, so each and every one was 1 shouldered with a bit of unnecessary SCHMALTZ tacked to the front... they still looked good, even had a bit of CHIC !!!!!

They certainly aren't any better or worse than Rodarte, ProenzaSchouler,Marc,blah blah blah.....

Makes you wonder why HALSTON was left out of that HEADY BREW. It's NEW-ish and was certainly hyped to death. The anticipation alone was enough to grant a nomination.

Why not Z.IDDY BIDDY ( zac posen) ? God knows enough has been printed about

mini DIDDY iddy biddy Z.

How about Lanvin/Alber Elbaz? He's extremely talented. From the SUBLIME to the ludicrous in one single bound. One moment clothes which are enough to make you want to dress, to dresses which fit and flatter only portly figures, not to mention menswear that looks exactly the same as his vague personal wardrobe. He deserves a prize .....

Why not DONATELLA? or ISAAAAC or that POWERHOUSE of STYLE , CYNTHIA ROWLEY?

Maybe TINSLEY MORTIMER should get BEST WOULD-BE DESIGNER!

I think LARS NILLSON deserves the FASTEST EXITS in the SHORTEST TIME AWARD.

Now that takes a talent that far out classes all of the above mentioned HOME SEWERS.

Rule Fairly......not Favoritively.

CFDA Award Nominees! and the losers are..........

Just as I feared, a few lazy days on the beach on St. Barts, a little sun, a cat nap or 2 and some much deserved "attentions" and back to the nether netherland of NYC just in time for the CFDA Award Nominations!
To think that it should be all the same repeat offenders was almost too much....or another load of way too NOT ENOUGH. Thom, Proe/Schou, Marc, and yadda yadda yadda....
It's enough to make that last hair on my skinny behind shrivel up and drop off. The brooding expression ( the only face he shows to the camera) on Lazarro's face was so spooky. Almost like he knew that he most likely would lose. Smug self regard is so demode, but I'm so old and style -challenged, my opinion hardly counts.
Thom Browne as Menswear designer of the year is scary. If you check out how quickly his collection for Brooks Brothers is flying off the shelves and racks, not to mention zipping to a closet of your own by way of the INNERNET, you'll quickly see that exactly every thing down to the VERY LAST LOOK is 50% OFF. You do the numbers......I'm too tired to scratch my abacus, but looks a bit IFFY in my book. When you're HOT, seems like there should be a bit of HEAT. You know....a little SNAP, CRACKLE...POP. From over here, I just hear the passing of WIND. There's a slight odour of cattle as well , come to think of it.
Rodarte, the toothsome sister act, are taking some heat for buckling under to VOGUE'S SUGGESTION , of "Though Shalt Not EAT"! To the point of SEWING their mouths shut and supplying a trainer and daily meals passed under their cell doors, is really a statement too loaded to disect .These talented girls are willing to starve in hopes of winning that elusive prize, The Swarovski Best Fake Diamond/New Kid on the Block Award. More than anything they fear being banished from the pages of the BIBLE if they don't shape up. As far as the clothes GO...they don't really GO very far. Jackie Rogers still works satin faced ORGANZA with more skill and imagination. A plethora of RUFFLES does not a BEST NEW TALENT AWARDEE make. But who knows, stranger things have happened.
Francisco Costa is up for Best Women's for CK.He would be a great choice. Like the others, his stuff doesn't sell, but if it did perhaps my faith in a public with TASTE and DISCERNMENT would be renewed. He is a very smart and creative designer. One with a MESSAGE. More than that, he's a designer with TALENT. He DELIVERS!
Marc Jacobs is up for best Accessories and best Womenswear, but he is doing what he does season after season:RIFFS on his PAST and everyone elses' . A very loyal subject of the EMPEROR.
All the rest of the nominations are so tired,even more than me, that I'll just scamper over them as fast as I can. There's nothing more boring than being BORED:
-Carolina Herrera gets lifetime Achievment.....blah blah blah. Her ASSISTANTS should all be lined up and given individual awards. She would not exist for more than a season or two had it not been for the men and women who have done her job for her SEASON after SEASON.She just hands the dog to some poor slob to walk and takes her bow at the end of each show. The way she's dressed you'd almost MISTAKE her for someone who actually WORKS.
-Candy Pratts Price gets the Eugenia Sheppard Award for Journalism.....That's exactly 10 words too many for saying : CRONYISTICBULLSHIT. Google that one in wordsearch.........
- Fran Liebowitz is the Emcee. In the good old days she'd call a SPADE a SPADE and send them all running for cover, but one fears that her BESPOKE SMOKING will be on loan from LVMH's new house : Chez Emperor ! I'd venture to guess that some CAT will have gotten hold of her TONGUE.....

Spotlight on Thom Browne......

....The Art of getting FLEECED!

With night, darkest ,wintry night upon us ,I thought "let's take a long hard look at the phenomenon of Thom Browne, bespoke suit Createur. Then again on second thought, maybe sunday nights are sad enough without adding Insult to Injury.
Who? What? How? WHY?????
My mother thought it was cute to see little boys in chest high pants and jackets with that abbreviated fit. To my eye it just read The House of Erkle. That look was the product of Haute HandMeDowns, not a costume that cost the same as a down payment on a too small apartment in the wrong part of town. But tell that to the "of the moment" FASHIONISTO. I will give him this, He's the first "styliste" in a long time who has managed to create truly androgynous clothing: Men look like unflattering Women, and Women look.... well, unflattering.
Perhaps the trouser can double as a TRUSS ,either way, one is begging for a news making WEDGIE. If it feels good ,DO IT!

Some forms of CLEVERNESS come with just TOO HIGH a price.

When did PRETTY become the new UGLY?

Was surfing the flatscreen and stumbled onto a fashion video channel from the U.K., a much better version of the drek we're forced fed on Full Frontal Fashion. No self seving, "listen to me pin superlatives to rags on the runway which have no relation to what we're not seeing and yet aren't I clever, informed, erudite in my total lack of a critical eye,an opinion worth sharing, taste or even the first clue as to what to wear in front of the camera.....They often seem to lose track , these industry experts,of which designer they're supposed to be talking about?"



WHATEVER...... Fashion is digression, but let me find my way back to the point of this pressing and important question.



While surfing, I came across this rather interesting show, which shared Valentino's last haute Couture collection , his swan song. Ok , so the man looks too tanned, too cupie doll lipped, rather short for standing so VERY TALL, and a comb over that could make the donald scream"You're Hired!", but the collection was so PRETTY. He kept saying that his intention was to"make beautiful, young MODERN clothes, the most toxically over-used adjective in the fashion lexicon, but bless his jet-setting, too many houses, too much stuff, too many wanna be and has been starlet pilot fish ,too many face lifts,(fashion is a permanent state/continent of digression) HEART, the clothes were heart breakingly PRETTY, I'd push that leaden envelope and go a baby step further and say, BEAUTIFUL. 10,20 50 100 looks; each as lovely as the 60 that preceeded them. Now these girls on the CAT WALK, you can imagine how fond I am of a walk way exclusively named for us ,we of the hair and the no hair..... these girls, and I must say in the world of Haute Couture, are the very best, hottest youngest,hippest,thinnest and coolest, looked MODERN, CHIC and yes ,YOUNG. My jaw dropped.



THESE CLOTHES WERE PRETTY!

So what happened to pretty? When did it become such a demode word? One sees a plethora of un-loveliness out there being lauded as directional, MODERN (again that word) when it does nothing but unflatter,de mystify and expose women in a way that God and His Disciples never intended: Worth,Poirret,Chanel,Gres,Fath,Mainbocher,Schiap,Dior,Balenciaga, St.Laurent,Val,Halston,Oscar,and Beene(there were some understudies included, in the event that a reigning queen could not fulfill her duties). These Masters of the Sacred Scissor did a fantastic job of elevating, liberating, glamorizing, deifying and just plain pretty-fying women for ages and it made for a much more interesting world in which we toil. Now , all we get is more reasons to stop hoping, and stop dreaming. Karl is thankfully still doing it, but no one has the guts to call a schnitzel a scnitzel and instead refers to his clothes as "BRILLIANT". I think that's a euphemism for pretty.



At the end of the Valentino Couture show, all the models , or to be couture-correct, the mannequin were all in the center of this fantastic circular stage, dancing, grooving, waving their r thin reedy arms in the air, an extremely chic RAVE atmosphere, all achingly beautiful , as he made his farewell promenade,shyly waving and mouthing the words"Thank You".



It was a bittersweet moment because one could actually feel the end of an era that cared only for beauty , artistry, creating a vision of loveliness and allure for women, for all of us, for the world; coming to a quiet end. I felt sad and just a bit more chilled in this world.

Lars Nilsson .... from here to there to nowhere.

Here we go again. How does he do it.... or not do it?

" .....Even before he had presented his first women’s fashion collection for Gianfranco Ferre, its creative director Lars Nilsson has left the house. “Gianfranco Ferre would like to announce that it has ended its relationship with Signor Lars Nilsson,” read a statement released by the house on Friday evening. .... Somewhat ironically, the email containing Ferre’s statement read: “We are pleased to send you here attached the mentioned press release.” ...."

What had Glenda Bailey said when he got the job?

“It’s great to have Lars back! He has such a love of architecture. It’s very exciting for Ferré. Lars has such a core of simplicity and clean lines but he also matches it with femininity. He understands fabrication and technique.”

Come again? We are talking about the guy who has been thrown out of every job he's ever had. At Blass, that bastion of fashion avant-guard, he was more concerned with his pay check and throwing temper tantrums and threats of quitting on a weekly basis. It's a wonder anything got done. But then again, they do have an archive of every pattern ever drafted by the old man and his team.

Well, i guess your paycheck matters if you have to show up with Anna for lunch in bespoke suits. After all, she shoe-horned him into the job. Does a company have a choice? Either hire her coterie or never get covered. Why are they pushing talent with a resume that should say after every job

"reason for leaving: FIRED"

"....Tensions mounted in recent weeks at the Ferré studio in Milan, where Nilsson was said to be behind schedule in preparing the collection. "He got overwhelmed and realized it was too big a responsibility for him," said one industry insider. "The position made him very insecure." As of last week, he was said to have only completed a handful of pieces. "This is a company that takes fashion very seriously because it's a big business," said an industry executive. "At the end of the day, Lars was not a right fit and it was too big a fish for him to fry."...

Well, Fashion Week Daily quoted the right fashion insider for once.

And good old Suzy?

"We keep having those false starts," said the International Herald Tribune's Suzy Menkes. " I don't know how you can expect to have the perfect collection in one season. I feel sad for [the state of] fashion."

State of fashion? The larger question is how is it that such a "great talent" like super-hyped Lars can't even get a first collection out with all those fabled Ferre resources at his command, when countless "small" design houses do it season after season without a fraction of these resources. It begs the question: "what's up wi' dat?"

All this whining and moaning for the unfair treatment of said wunderkind "designer", Lars, is misguided and pathetic considering the opportunities he has systematically squandered. (how many millions went down the drain so far betting on this lame horse).

The irony is: each successive job has been both grander and more short lived than the previous. Perhaps the house of Ferre saw the sketching on the wall and realized "this emperor's closet is bare."

Ponder and discuss.