Monday, August 25, 2014

Flip Flops and other heinous gear: Just Say No

The collections are just around the corner and I, for one, am curious what will waddle, slither and galumph its way down the runways. It's been  slow summer with little to get excited over let alone talk about. Spotlighting every new trend just isn't that interesting when the street has more to offer than the design studio and that's not saying much for the street. Long, limp and lank dresses are dragging their frayed hems up and down every major avenue in this city, which means that all over the country women have decided that the beach "cover-up" is now just as de rigeur as their filthy, slap-smacking flip-flops you see on the feet of just about every person moving. Dirty feet with colored toe-nails are still just that: DIRTY. Whether that flip-flop is rubber, gold toned rubber, leather-look or even leather, it's a shoe meant for the beach, for weekend wear, but not something to get around the city in. Between dodging mounds of dog drop and sidewalks being hosed down to rid them of dog drops, this shouldn't be the shoe of choice for anyone: man, woman or dog. Still they are everywhere. Even on the flight to Germany/Holland a week ago they were in every class of the flight. Coach was a given but First class? There, too. Why did I bother to get dressed up? (Relax, I used miles)

The "cover-up" is the big winner. Is it because it's sold everywhere at every price point making it an accessible look for every wallet. It's always in some form of jersey, but most often the cheapest saggiest grade available. It takes a nasty print like a mismatched stripe, digitally printed florals or some combination of the 2 with an animal print wash just for good measure. What rankles is that the customer has this idea that whether strapless or halter-top, this tube is a default must-have. Most often the look is sloppy due to an ill fit (too tight) and horrible quality. Those offenses are so standard that a good one (designer/expensive) is as hard to discern as her poorer relation. When they come with built-in elastic waistbands things go from worse to awful. Yesterday I saw an older woman with a "real" body and she too sported one with one difference; it was mid-calf and cut like an oval skimming her body, narrowing at the hem. It looked great and so did she. I couldn't help wondering why I was the only one who seemed to notice?

Yoga gear is another culprit that's snared and skewered armies of women on the street. It's like too much information that none of us wants or needs. Call me a prude but I don't want to see the outlines of every inch of a person unless it's someone I'm in love with or at least in bed with, male or otherwise. So all this "information" traipsing up and down the street is nothing short of a lapse in decency.

there's other stuff, too: Yoga mats, water bottles, cell phones, men carrying totes hanging from their arms, flash dance off-the-shoulder tops, leggings, floor length chiffon skirts with short underskirt linings, hi-lo dresses and skirts for day OR night, short shorts esp jean cut-offs, sports bras worn off the court, Michael Kors totes and bags of any sort (see GLUT), LVuitton, too, oh and Tory Burch, as well, ALL BIRKINS, etc. Last but not least... "STEP AWAY FROM THE TATTOO PARLOR PEOPLE". ENOUGH. enough. Let's clean up the mess and make room for new No-No's.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you!