Friday, April 4, 2008

Fashion Fashion Everywhere...and not a SOUL wearing it.

This Kitten was tending to it's daily TOILETTE and had a DING DONG revelation. Minding my own business and scratching around in my BIEDERMEIER commode,of course lined with the pages of the latest VOGUE,HARPERS,T&C and the most recent BARNEYS catalogue,( filled with dead sea sand for good traction) I clawed off a page featuring theHAUTEST looks from Balenciaga. Sculpted shoulders attached to an armor shaped jacket in sublime floral printed Zibeline with matching PETITE HOT PANTS. The model was shod in the most come il faut GLADIATOR heels which snaked the length of here twig thin legs. My god! I stopped cold and stood there agape.
The severity of the shapes were so provocative......a COUTURE ATELIER flexing it's considerable muscle. A Couturier tossing his considerable mane with TOTAL command. It was a picture both ARRESTING and AGGRESSIVE in it's beauty and RIGOR. This image and others like it are papered over every magazine and website this month , which shows it's power and acceptance among the editors of the BIBLE in all its various translations and testaments. So I figure I'm gaping at the Gospel according to those who KNOW.
Here's where I start to ask a few practical,albeit plebian QUESTIONS.

WHO IS WEARING THIS? WHO CAN AFFORD TO WEAR THIS? and last but NOT the least bit overstating the NOT AT ALL OBVIOUS: why?

After cleansing and moisturizing these PAWS, I slinked over to my PRADA abacus and started crunching numbers. I'm from a middle class litter, so I tend to ask or check prices, it's a foible of mine. When you have no hair, live alone ,toil in this town to keep a roof over your head and yet indulge in the wearing and appreciation of fashion and having one or two of the finer things in life, BUT are on a fixed BUDGET, you tend to ask that vulgar ,common,CLASS IDENTIFYING question: HOW MUCH?

After adding up the JACKET(short sleeved), the SHORTS (scary short) and then the cost of the SHOES ( hardly an acceptable description) the COMPLETE 'LOOK' was about 30 GRAND. Now I'm no babe in the woods. I know the cost of FABULOSITY, but I staggered taking in the STAGGERING prix.

COUTURE COSTS. COUTURE is the ultimate CLIMAX, but COUTURE is CAPRICE (and not the CAR....that's CHEAP).

Don't get me wrong, I love it; it's HOTNESS of the WEARABLE kind ! But I'm looking around and I don't see it HAPPENING anywhere but in my lovely Commode (ok, so it's ATTRIBUTED to BIEDERMEIER). Where is she? this chic SIREN in the SNAPPY SUIT? I can't seem to find her.The cost of that extremely SPECIFIC ENSEMBLE is the cost of a years rent in my very elegant pied de terre.
What are the editors thinking when this STYLE FANTASTIQUE has a shelf life of about 8 weeks before we're told to toss it for something more NOW....more MODERNE....more IT.
It left me FLUMMOXED and not just a little bit confused.
The fact that it was in a catalogue drove me from the warmth of my elegant pied de terre, to scamper over to Barneys to see what what the HUB BUB was all about. Is the MERCH on the MOVE or is it languishing on the racks like the pages in my commode. Well , I saw that it was NOT really on the MOVE. It was very much THERE....HANGING there, like a body that isn't really breathing......I think you catch my meaning. After asking several Sales Associates about what was HOT, NOW, IT, they all said that the 'Balenciaga was the LAST WORD in FABULOUS... but there was so much of it due to DEMAND' . I saw at least 150 pieces CRAMMED on 3 or 4 racks with nothing buzzing around them besides a few very large and slow moving FLIES.

You think I'm a sour PUSS but I just call it as I see it: Advanced EMPERORIOITUS, in the tertiary stage.



Anonymous said...

Keep calling it as you see it my feline friend: you're on to something here!

Anonymous said...

Beidermeier style have soul.

Anonymous said...

pied à terre