Donatella couldn't be happier, now that Christopher Kane has been hired to cover her skin tight, leather clad butt. This, his second season with the label, finds him still applying pressure to it's sunken chest and breathing what must be cigarette smoke into its collapsed lung. That's right, lung, singular. I was awoken in the night by a ding sound emanating from my IPhone alerting me to an email update. Leaving for Savannah today, left me in a light agitated sleep so I woke up and reached for the phone. I thought it could be that message informing me that my new glamorous life, filled with excitement, brilliant fashion show invitations, con-fabs set up back to back with some of the most influential movers and shakers in every business of interest, even invitations to sit at the head table to the right of Tavi, BryanBoy, Susie Bubble, but to the left of Scott Schuman, The Snotorialist*, and yes down near the end of that impossibly long banquet table out of Anna's sight line. But it wasn't my salvation email, it was a sad update on Versus, Christopher Kane and Dame Anna's machinations to maneuver him into some new and unrealistic position. It was a report on the Queen's favorite. After reading it I couldn't go back to sleep thinking about the strong arm mafia tactics of the Conde Nasty Gang. They should be on that cheese ball show "America's Most Wanted".
I dragged myself from bed with a king sized headache and sat down to my crystal ball (MacBook) and decided to gaze into the standing water drainage ditch that is Milan and dig around for Versus. I found it and I must say I was supremely confused. How is it that Anna sees something so marginal in this guy. I can understand Donatella's confusion, she's an addled mess. I guess Anna is just an old mess. Looking at Kane's eponymous collection for London's Spring season I was baffled at all the hoopla. I went back to a collection he did for his own collection for Spring 2009. I saw really fantastic things there. Imagination, wildly ambitious technique and excitement that would surely elicit interest and even suggest sales... what a novel concept. I've included pictures from that collection to illustrate my point. These suggest big things for his future. The Versus outings negate that brilliance. They appear to have come from another source. I wonder how taste , an aesthetic rigor and conviction can just simply escape one. Is it the 'take the money and run' syndrome?
Well Versus looked like a $10.00 retread of tired , musty old Versace. Every single dress was a redo. They were so abbreviated and entangled with straps and bras that it seemed that Donatella announced over the cafeteria loudspeaker that there was a 1.5 meter limit for fabrics on all dresses. It was signature satin everywhere and dresses were repeated verbatim or the 2 styles that were the collection were bred to produce a hybrid 3rd style. The only part of the collection that looked fresh were a couple of very fitted leather jackets that were great. The pleated circle skirts under them were so Lolita and so oft repeated that I didn't notice them any more. Color was pretty. He used a beautiful blue and green and a rich shocking red, but otherwise there were a couple of unexplained mud shades. The shoes were hideous, a close friend's FAVORITE adjective, and the make up was street walker subtle. Deep red lips that seemed to whisper, "For a nickel I will....."
So back to Anna's big plans for Kane. I say, "Good for him!" God knows there's not that much out there to be gotten, but why does it go to the ones that don't really have the cojones to work it? Well, that's life in the break down lane.
*Snotorialist, because he's not a particularly pleasant character, especially if you make the horrific faux-pas of complimenting his work. Some people just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully. I get the feeling that graceful isn't an adjective that describes Scott.....
No models were abused or starved, just bored stiff.
THE ACL GIFT GUIDE 2023
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